Three days later, I am in and out of shock and grief. I am holding on to Lakas as I hold on to Dawn. Dawn and I were just working on the shoot and preparing for Seattle. On Thursday, she texted me that she was “excited!!!” Like me. At our shoot, she was going to meet the subjects of the film and they wanted to meet her–“Dawn of Little Manila.” At our shoot in June that is pictured here, we conferred on her outfit. And I told her she cannot go too bold with the necklaces. She brought three–all bongga! As we decided on this one that she is wearing, we talked about the jewelry game of all those lawyers in the documentary _RBG_. And how many documentaries we both saw this year—just last month—in the golden year of docs and how cool to be working together on this. She stayed on late at the shoot then came back laughing because she forgot a favorite tote bag from Obama’s first election. We talked about our friend Konrad just as she was driving away. The memories are both so vivid and already failing me at the same time. What is certain is Dawn touched my students that day as she hung out at my dining table eating vegan pancit. As my students transcribe Dawn’s words on Friday, they call her a “fierce badass feminist” and “so important and necessary.” She was 45 years old. It hurts to know the certainty of so much ahead for her. And it is amazing to recognize how her big legacy ignites so many. I hold on to both the joy and the grief of Dawn Mabalon, my fellow Bruin, Cardinal and Gator. Historian of our people, she so loved our people. It’s in the work she left and in the life she led.