#birthdayGNO @august1five

Celine:

Birthday trio. And glitter glam!

And with Femasculator co-founder my gf Alice!

GNO love so visible built from uncensored friendship audio unsharable here!

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On 12/25 at 4:30 p.m., say his name: Lakas. #psitjewellery #greece #personalized #commission #withLakas #grief

Celine:

I found a card my youngest son Lakas made for me with a loving letter—his sweet words and handwriting are accompanied by a drawing of three flowers and a dragonfly! I remember he would come home and draw prolifically. His art hangs all over our house today. It is so special to have a dragonfly he drew, in green, yellow, red! So Lakas. So vibrant and strong.

The dragonfly is an image that represents renewal. We use the symbol to remember Lakas because he picked a Japanese ceramic pattern on his last Boys’ Day holiday, a blue bowl with a dragonfly. A big family ritual and celebration for us: celebrating our boys, using his Japanese ceramics everyday.

This year, I commissioned the talented Greek artist Katerina Stamati of http://www.psitjewellery.com to make Lakas’ dragonfly as a pin to give to our friends and family on Christmas Day to wear when we all celebrate Lakas’ life at the time of his death:

12/25 at 4:30 p.m.

Please light a candle (observe the flame when you light it), plant a flower or a tree, cook something delicious and healthy, draw a dragonfly, visit water, get in, play with your dog, and whatever you do: say his name. I love you, Lakas.

With love for Lakas forever!

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#Christmascookies #volunteering #cookieexchange #ChocolateCovered

Celine:

Christmas is the day my son suddenly died. The day looms like a monstrous shadow. Volunteering to help others really helps our grieving family especially now. And so does baking our youngest son’s Christmas cookies with a recipe from Grandma. Lakas would bake them every year since kindergarten from start to finish including cleaning, drying and putting all the pans away. After his death, we got special cookie boxes made with his photos on the lids at Chocolate Covered in Noe Valley, San Francisco. We filled three of them tonight with our own cookies and ones made by other volunteers in our community. After we made our cookies at home, I went to a cookie exchange with other volunteers. Sweetness in a time of sorrow feeds us.

Note-taking with my favorite pencil #blackwing #laketahoe and newfound old glasses #withLakas

Celine:

Seeing films I am writing about multiple times means I am taking notes, then taking notes on the notes, so as to find the patterns and to see anew. Best done with the ridges of Lake Tahoe’s topography as raised texture on my favorite pencil. And wearing the purple glasses I wore when Lakas was born. Newfound old ones that made the memory of holding him as a baby come so vividly. #withLakas

#bookwriting #seasonofgrief

Celine:

Looks like I’m crying—it’s just writing! Finished first half of the next chapter of my next book. The first draft is due Thursday. I’m going to make it! Red-faced tears of joy. 

Five chapters will be done this week and one more to go! Very excited. 

The work is saving me in this season of grief that grips me. I let it come. My love surges up and I remember Lakas with us.  #withLakas